January 08, 2004

Living from delusion to delusion...

A random brain emission...

Today, due to a leaky pipe from the suite above, and the need for someone to be home to let the plumber in, I enjoyed a day of working from home. I feel as if I got a lot accomplished today!
However, now that the work is done, and I'm reflecting a bit, here's what occured to me:

Working from home, without the "foreground noise" of being at work (physically being in the space, talking to the people and manually carrying out work tasks), I find that I have been more aware of delusion or desired intention as it relates to my ego.

(Yeah, I know... barf! He's getting all introspective now...)

In other words, when I'm in a work "mode", the priorities and immediate goals of the work jump to the foreground, and for the most part, seem to obscure the long-term implications - the long-term relevance of the goal.

Okay - those "other words" I just used weren't very helpful, were they... I'll try again...

In work mode, I care about how many people visit my employer's web site, or how many log into it's message board. I care about how full, empty or inactive these work-sponsored online communites are (see http://forums.vec.ca), and then, when I'm home, I care about how much attention or how up-to-date my own web presences are. Like this blog. This is all rather on the edge of obsession...

So it hits me that I am a tiny speck, a little thread in this vast churning sea of spam and stuff that we call the Internet... What seems so meaningful and important today, will fade away and be archived by www.archive.org tomorrow - in another few years or a decade, when I am somewhere else, doing something different, with some other cause in mind.

So far, every IT job I have had has reminded me of this fact in one way or another. The relationship of impermanent life to our attempts to nail our personal bit of jelly to the collective wall of history.

(That's the dumbest metaphor I've ever hacked out... funny! Time to call it a day and get back to real life...)

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