October 29, 2004

A sense of family...

Lots of family and social themes came across my mind today.

I have been reminded of my parents - they're in my mind and heart daily; a sense of love, a sense of loss and sorrow, and every once in a while, an incredible moment of recognition of a pure feeling, like realizing that I used to feel safe and secure with my Dad, or how proud I was when my Mum dressed up in her finest clothes and mink coat.

These are like crystal clear musical notes that rarely resonate; strings plucked by some old, resurfaced association. I'm glad of them: they're the antidote to the sadness or bitter memories that are the flipside of my nostalgia.

Parents are frail. Parents love you and then sometimes hurt themselves or hurt you. Parents are humans who make mistakes. Now, the more I look back on the mistakes of their lives and how they affected me, I feel ever more compassion for two people who's struggles and mistakes shaped my early outlook.

No comments: