May 19, 2013

The joy and comfort of sitting at a table surrounded by family and friends

The joy and comfort of sitting at a table surrounded by family and friends. It might be a family meal, or a drink and some snacks. Feeling part of something - a fun moment, a joke, sharing stories. Being part. Feeling happy. It's like a reward.

If you can't explain to someone else why moments like those are so important to you personally, it's okay. Maybe you're a bit on the quiet side, or personal feelings just aren't the kind of thing you'd like to bring up. If some of your companions wouldn't understand, it might be because they've had lots more of those happy times than you, and it just feels normal to them, not extraordinary.

Be happy that they have their "normal happy" moments, and just enjoy your well-deserved "extraordinarily happy" moments whenever you can get them.

They're deserved.

May 12, 2013

Mother's Day, 2013

In my memory, the women who were mothers or mother figures when I was a kid were hard-working, long-suffering people who stood at the centre of their families and withstood the various storms of being a mom and managing kids.

If that seems to be a limited, stereotypical view, you've caught me. I didn't know too many Mums, and the ones I observed (belonging to my friends), fascinated me in their authority, attention, and sheer involvement with their kids. They were authorities, nurses, traffic cops, entertainers, teachers, and providers, each in their own fashion, and because my own mother was none of those things, I secretly envied each of my friends.

As a grownup, I saw my mother as an unfortunate adult, who never recovered from the challenges of her life. She lived chaotically, going from crisis to crisis, never developing her own strength or clarity of mind. She wasn't suited to being a Mum, I believe. She was meant to be a artist who created something other than kids, like singing in an opera, or banging out some lively boogie-woogie on the piano.

So, I guess my wish for mother's day is that my mother might have had more personal fulfillment in her life, and if that meant I might not have existed, that would be okay with me.

It's probably because of her that I can draw, and love art, movies, comic books, music and theatre. I'll honour by living my happiest life, and wishing all the mothers around me a happy mothers day.